2015…I can’t say I’m sorry to see you go. Honestly you were hard and I would prefer not to repeat you. You were a year of learning on so many levels. If I had to pick one word to describe the theme of last year it would be learning. I learned things about myself, about God, I learned so many things in college (most of which I will probably never use again). I guess thats healthy, they say you should be a life long learner. Some years kick your butt though, they grow and stretch you and teach you. They fly by and somehow still feel like they take decades to finish.
I’m not entirely sure how I got to be 24 years old. I feel like I blinked sometime in 6th grade and here I am with responsibilities, bills a house and a job. Life isn’t bouncing on trampolines and playing Pokemon cards any more. So I am sure you are dying to know what I learned in this year. And I want you to know that I will in-fact tell you because I love you that much. This list is in no particular order so keep your judgement to yourself ok?
- School is hard: not always academically but working it into the other aspects of my life was tricky. So tricky that I quit ( see previous post)
- Listening to God is annoying, inconvenient and confusing: But it is always worth it. Even when it’s hard and I don’t understand (which is like 99.9% of the time) it has always been the best decision I make.
- I have a burning hatred for chemistry.
- I am not a failure because I quit.
- It is ok to not be sure about what you want to do with the rest of your life: I have about 100 different things I want to do and be and I have no idea how many will play out. But thats not my job.
- It’s ok to be selfish sometimes.
- Making a budget and sticking to it is equally as difficult as it is rewarding.
- I love writing.
- If I could I would live in a bra and underwear only.
- My love for Harry Potter has not changed.
- I love reading.
- Celebrating little victories is important.
- Being a good friend is hard.
- A mimosa is the best way to start any holiday.
- I really like watching basketball.
- I’m incredibly selfish.
- My family are also my best friends
- I don’t know what the next step is: I don’t know what I want a year from now, 5 years from now. I don’t know where I want to be in 20 years. And thats ok. Frustrating at times but I think it’s a good place for me to be right now.
- It’s ok to be your own best friend.
- Not to compare my life with anyone else’s.
- Be authentic: don’t force relationships, be genuine.
- I really really need Jesus
2015 to be frank you kicked my butt. But you have also made me stronger and I hope better. You held many tears and so many laughs. You changed me in ways I never thought you would.
2016 I don’t know what to expect from you. But my hope is that I would stay so close to Jesus that I can clearly hear his voice when mine tries to take over. That I would have the courage to go where He is leading. That I would be quick to seek him when I am inevitably disappointed, lost, confused, hurt or broken. That I would make a point to thank Him for the good things, big and small. That I wouldn’t blame Him for my offense. That I would continue to grow, stretch and learn, however uncomfortable it may be. That I would have the faith to pick up the things I have stopped praying for because they didn’t happen in my timeline. That I would do all of this with joy in my heart, not out of obligation guilt or religion but out of relationship.
Cheers to another year LIVED.