I love people. And sometimes I don’t. I love hanging out with a bunch of friends. And sometimes I dread it. I love making plans. And sometimes I love canceling them even more. I love good company. And sometimes I love the company of myself.
Here’s the thing, I am my favorite person. I know exactly what makes me laugh. I know exactly what I need at any time. I like me. I love me. Sometimes I just need to hang out with my favorite person, lucky for me she is always there ready and willing. She is me. I don’t mean to sound self absorbed or conceited. I would never assume that I am someone else’s favorite person. I can be mean and cranky, anxious and stubborn, sarcastic and cynical. But I can also be warm and caring, happy and funny, spontaneous and understanding. I like me. Sure there are things that I am working on and things I would like to change but overall I think I’m alright.
Sometimes you just need to spend time with yourself. This is something that took me a long time to understand. I think your personality has a lot to do with this. I border on the introvert/extrovert line. Sometimes people recharge me and sometimes alone time recharges me. This past year I have learned to be unapologetically selfish at times. It’s ok to not go to the party and stay home. It’s ok to focus on me for a day. I used to dread being alone but now I embrace the sweet moment of uninterrupted me time. It is so important to take time for yourself. It is also important not to isolate yourself, you will get weird. There is a balance and I think that balance is different for every person. For example I love treating myself to a movie. I go by myself and it is honesty one of my favorite things. Now I think I prefer to see movies alone. Finding that balance is important. Spend some time on your own, find out what you love and what you hate. Nurture yourself. You don’t have to have an excuse for anything. I think people always want to know the why behind a no but the truth is your “no” can stand on its own (but that’s another post all together).
I don’t feel bad or weird or lonely when it’s just me anymore. Maybe it’s just the place in life I’m in but I’m trying my best to embrace every change. To learn and grow in every season of life. And it just so happens that what I am learning now is to be ok on my own and when to prioritize myself. Because if I’m not my best self I’m not of much use to others.
PS: I do have friends and people that I hang out with regularly. I’m not some shut-in writing this post from my basement in my house where I have boarded up all the windows and I have my groceries delivered to my house because I am crippled by the though of human interaction…..haha wouldn’t that be weird….